Sunday, May 2, 2010

God said yes....and so did she

Fast approaching seven months since I finished my treatment. Still got a ways to go before I hit the magic milestone of 24 months, but I feel great. Weight is stuck around 174 pounds, still almost 40 pounds less than when I first took on the demon, but this is probably closer to where I should be anyway. So God's blessings just keep














on presenting themselves....

Speaking of blessings, one I have been seeking for so long has been in the form of an answer to a question that has danced elusively in my path for many years. I have been single my entire life. Often the simplicity of single life in itself seemed like a blessing. Heck, it worked quite well for the first 50 years of my life. But more and more in recent times I have been more unsettled with the autonomous path I had grown accustomed to walking. I prayed to God to give me insight into His plan for me. I know, without question, that His plan is perfect. I just want a clue as to what it is. Why was I single? If my story line was supposed to be that as a faithful follower and to do it alone, ok, but please give me peace about that. Or, as I had done at various times in my life journey, I had to revisit the possibility that God was planning a spot for me on his Priest team. That would sure explain why I had avoided the alter for half a century. And if I could just find peace in that honorable and simultaneously humbling life choice, I was certainly open to it. Honestly, I really was open to it. But there was a third option that kept begging to get in the game...and that was as a husband.

How was I going to figure this one out? If I become a Priest, I can't ever be a husband. If I become a husband, I can't ever become a Priest. And if I do nothing and stay single, well, I could do that and leave the other two options alive and well......but that just really didn't feel like the right path any longer. So, I did the only thing I could think of.....pray. And along with a huge amount of prayer, probably at least 10X my fair share of God's bandwidth (fortunately He has the unlimited family plan), I took a very deep dive into my own personal discernment process. Chopping, slicing, dicing, role playing.....deciding, then second guessing......this was a huge decision. But eventually, I just went back to seek the answer from the one source of wisdom I could really trust......and that was to pray even more about it. I was confident God would provide the answer, in His time, but I just needed to be open and really listen.

Only God knows why He does what he does and when He chooses to bless one with enlightenment. Maybe He will share his strategy with me one day....but for now, all I know is one morning I awoke and all seemed clear. I seemed to finally have my long sought after answer..... but just to be safe, I asked God if this peace I was feeling about my apparently new life path was really His intended message to me. I asked Him if he really intended for me to take the husband path.....and He said yes.....yes.....and it just felt so right. Such a wonderful blessing...again.....thank you God.

So, with my path now clearly identified, step two in the process needed to unfold. Next, I had to get Carol to agree that after two years of enjoying my most affable self, my extremely easy-going nature and constant joy to be around personality (yeah, yeah, I know, you don't have to say it....), maybe it was time to take the next step in making me an honest man. I thought the discernment process was challenging, but this was going to be a huge uphill trek, requiring the most skillful sales job.....ok, not really....well, hopefully not really. Fortunately I had a sense that she just might say yes. After all, this was God's will, right? Had to go through her Dad first, which was surprisingly comfortable, so, with his blessing, next had to figure out when and where to give Carol an opportunity to allow me to enjoy my latest amazing blessing. I live in San Jose and Carol lives in Phoenix (where she is hard at work growing her medical practice), and since I am not that familiar with the Phoenix area, I really didn't have much of a clue how to make "the moment" somewhat out of the ordinary....heck, I didn't even know how to make it ordinary! But, with a few calls to some local friends, and the power and insight of the Internet, I was able to find a relatively unexpected scenario.....remember now, Arizona is a desert for the most part......so, how about going to a Hawaiian like atmosphere, complete with pools and palm trees....and taking an Italian Gondola out onto the water, complete with a large Italian (ok, I don't think he was really Italian) gondola pilot singing Italian love songs? I would have preferred an Irish steersman, and Irish love songs, but he would have just crashed the boat and all the songs would sound like Guinness drinking songs...... Anyway, long story short, it all worked out. Especially the most important part......Carol's answer. :) (If you aren't sure what that was, see the title of this entry....)


This is our "jolly" almost Italian, gondola-piloting troubadour. He really helped keep the occasion cactus free and made it feel like a special place for a very special occasion.

So now, Carol and I start the next phase of our journey. Not sure of timing just yet, but the path feels very right.....

Your prayers for our successful journey together are much desired and very welcome.



This past year has been an amazing journey. Going from almost not a care in the world, to the most difficult but rewarding life threatening challenge of my life, to a , knock on wood, successful recovery, and now starting on a completely new journey..... all of which clearly has God's palm prints all over them.

I am a very lucky man. Thank you all for being part of my blessed life. But don't go away, the fun is just getting started.......

Oh, and be kind to someone today. :)