Life Goes on.....

So sorry for the extended silence. I returned to work a few weeks ago and life has been pretty hectic.

I did have a follow up PET scan last week. This is the test I have been waiting for as it would truly indicate if the treatment was successful and my only focus would be on recovery. The results weren't as good as I would have hoped, but they still weren't bad. Could have been a lot worse actually. Basically, there are indications that something is still going on. It might just be residual inflammation from the treatment. It might be a few other things besides cancer. But it also could still be cancer. I have another PET scan in 2 months. If the "noise" they see is due to one of the various non-cancer causes, that next scan should be clear. My radiation Doc is very optimistic. My chemo doc is more cautious. I'm going with the radiation doc.

Its been great being back at work. I really enjoy what I do anyway, and just being in a normal environment is a constant reminder that things are getting better. So normal in fact that I am leaving on a business trip to Taiwan next week. Amazing how not all that long ago my goal was simply to try not to vomit.....or move if I didn't have to..... so blessed.

Looking back over the second half of 2009, and my treatment experience, which I do from time to time, I can't help but just feel so darn lucky with how it played out. I go back every month for a check up, something I will do for at least the next year and maybe two, and when I am there I am surrounded by folks at various points of their treatment journey. So many of them have been at it for several months and their light remains at the end of a very distant tunnel. Heck, my treatment and time spent away from work was only three and a half months in total! Yes, there were some very dark days during those months, but it was so short compared to so many others' experiences. And other than very limited saliva production which makes eating a bit more of a chore than I would prefer, I am relatively back to normal. Much lighter than before, but that isn't a bad thing. :) I'm in the gym and riding my bike and on my way to regain my beach body.... ok, that's a joke..... but I am getting there!!

You know, as simple as it sounds, I really believe we can always find a silver lining someplace. Nothing is ever as bad as we might think it is. And there is always a lesson to be learned, even if we have to look a while to find it. Happy or sad, optimistic or pessimistic, stressed or relaxed...it really all is simply a state of mind. And the state of mind we choose really is a personal choice. I think I chose happy, optimistic and relaxed..... at least until my next PET scan. Kidding, I have no fear.

Hope the start of your 2010 is going very well. This is going to be a great year. Its all in how you choose to think about it. :)

Talk soon.....