Leaving my comfort zone.......

A bit of another milestone today. Dinner at Mickey D's. Up to today, my meals were almost exclusively still Ensure. I have managed to get eggs down and occasionally, some link sausage. Oh, and of course, soup. Cup of noodles and Ramen this week, which really is glorified soup, just without the nutrition. I have wanted to try the long awaited, much savored, burger at McDonald's, but I realized today that part of the reason I haven't tried it yet was out of fear. Sure, until recently, it was because I just couldn't do it physically. But the last day or two I think I probably could at least try, but for some reason I kept gravitating back to my comfort zone of Ensure. It was just safer and there was always tomorrow....

So, once I realized that part of my reluctance was just being afraid to try, afraid to venture into the unsafe, discomfort zone, I decided to try. And, happy to report that I could eat a quarter pounder (no bun and I did share a little bit with tommy, my dog), some fries, and the fish in their fish sandwich. Swallowing heavily supported with constant swigs of ice tea, but got it down all the same. Not as comfortable as Ensure, but it was nice to get just that much closer to normal life.

In between bites, I did think about other areas that I let fear of leaving my comfort zone dictate my actions....and how at times they can actually be to the detriment of others. How often I have been stopped at a red light and noticed a card board sign toting fellow human being experiencing hard times and in need of a little help. Even a few bucks could make the difference of him (or her) getting something to eat. Did I have the money to give? Of course I could spare a buck or two. But I found it much more comfortable to come up with any number of reasons (excuses) for why my window never went down and the money never left my pocket. The light will be turning before I get it to him (it never turns that quickly), he looks too well dressed to really need the money (there is a minimum dress code now for needing help?), he looks too grungy he must be mental (isn't that the perfect candidate for help?), I don't have the right change (ok, so he gets a five instead...). I realize none of these are valid "reasons", I'm just not comfortable with the process. But why not? And ultimately he loses out on the help I could surely give...... help he really needs in most cases. Thank God, literally, that others have helped me when they haven't been totally comfortable with the act. Driving me to treatment I'm sure wasn't always convenient or comfortable, but I sure needed the help. Sitting by my side, watching me vomit endlessly... yeah, that's a lot of fun to sit thru.......

And, like anything else, leaving my comfort zone is only difficult until I do it a few times. I remember growing up, and learning to ride a bike, or a jet ski, or a motorcycle....and later in life, skydiving, scuba diving or learning to fly a plane..... all of these actions were very uncomfortable at first. But with repetition and practice, they became second nature. Wouldn't the best comfort zone to get comfortable stepping outside of be the one that allowed me to help others more easily? And since its just practice in doing so that would cure the uneasiness, of course I need to try. I bet I'm not the only one who has wanted to help someone at some point, but found it easier to come up with "reasons" why it would have to wait until next time....

Thanksgiving sounds like the perfect season to start......... And with as much as I have to be thankful for this year, I'm sure I have enough to share....

Have a great week. Give thanks for all the blessings you enjoy. And push yourself to step outside and share when you can...... it will get easier, and that can only be a good thing.