Holy Moly

Wow. Sure didn't expect the intensity of this last rumble in the jungle with king chemo.....yes formerly known as punk chemo.....but have to give respect where earned. I knew that the cumulative effects of 34 radiation sessions and the three chemo sessions would add up to a bigger, badder version of the bully...... but two words.....Holy Moly.

I know it could still have been worse...and I know there are many, many others who endure far deeper suffering than I can even imagine..... so I will still refrain from comparing my week long descent into Helk with a journey anywhere near venturing into "Hell"....but I can say with complete certainty that I never, ever want to test Hell.

The good news is that I have now completed the treatment phase, both radiation and chemo, and now the recovery phase can begin. Doc says there is still probably about two weeks where the cumulative effects will still work their magic, so any really improvement in comfort is still a couple weeks away, but just knowing that I have touched the halfway mark on the playground and now can run back to the starting point is a good feeling. And, each day can only get "mo bettah", and frankly, it is. Next goal is to try and sleep at night. So far, 1-2 hours is the max before I have to get up and "cough up" the build up (purposefully cryptic description...), but that should get better in the next couple weeks too.

I still am going for daily hydration. Sort of a trade off for not getting any caloric intake for several days. I do need to start getting the calories back. I think the official weight loss topped out at somewhere between 25-30 pounds. Its just that this last week, anytime I could even get some in thru the tube, it was only moments and it came back up. Not pretty, so use your imagination if you feel the need. I think I'll pass.

Anyway, while at hydration, which takes place in the same place as any other infusion...like chemo.... I am surrounded by people at varying stages of their treatment. Many just where I was 7 weeks ago. I feel for them. They have no idea what to expect. Not sure what I would or could say to help. Still processing it all myself. But I was asked I would help with support groups, so I will figure something out.

There is one cumulative effect far stronger than anything radiation and chemo can piece together, and that's the cumulative impact that caring, loving, supportive people can wrap like a blanket around someone going through this. I still don't know how I would have gotten this far without the tremendous blessing God graced me with. Thank y'all so very, very much. I know I'm not done yet, but I also know you aren't either. I can't wait to get this chapter finished, but the book is far from completed......and that is a good thing.

God Bless all of you.