Started sliding the man hole cover back this morning.....finally confident enough to peek out over the edge. Not sure where I went this past....well, gosh, over a week I see since I last wrote. I would be overstating it if I said I went to Hell for a while. As you probably know by now, I can always find a way to envision anything being better than it could be...... So I don't think I made it to Hell. I think that destination should be reserved for those who really suffer. But I know I went way past Heck. Is there a place called Helk? Pretty sure I went to Helk.
Today is the last day of week 5. Week 5! Seems so long ago I couldn't see the end of September and now we are almost there. The time is flying. And its not. This past week I swear all clocks seemed stalled on whatever time it was at that moment. Was I dreaming? Does Helk suspend time while breathing its metallic tasting air? (more on that another time, but how can everything taste like metal?!) I don't know but for the first time in my life, I really did just look forward to the next hour coming and going....and coming and going...... (see, another first on my new list...)
As bad as it got, it was so easy to remember how lucky I was though because I had hope....so many don't. I know this is temporary. I know I will get better. I know this will be but a memory at some point and I will still have a wonderful, God Blessed life, with far more than I will ever deserve. How many people have no hope? How many struggle with challenges that are not temporary? Please forgive me if so often I gravitate back to this mindset, but please....please..... take inventory of all you have to be thankful for. I promise you the list is long. Every little aspect is important, don't gloss over those....and when you spend a few moments each day, and I hope you do, reflecting on just how lucky we all are..... how can any of us not be just a little happier? And hopefully appreciative.
Thanks so much to everyone who have continually walked by my side through this journey. I feel your presence, I really do. We are getting closer.
Please enjoy your weekend. Appreciate those who love you, your friends, they really are a blessing. So are you. Be kind to someone.
Ok, radiation time......and then week 5 is in the can!!
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Hi Kev:
ReplyDeleteI know this week has been a trial of great magnitude. I only wish we could do more to ease the journey. Some say that watching a loved one suffer is much more painful that the one suffering - but you might gladly change positions......
We love you and are keeping you in constant prayers.... Well almost constant!
Hey Kev, I knew how tough you were, but I truly know now how tough you are. Keep on walking down the path and well be waiting for you to have a couple beers and high fives to your successful return.
ReplyDeleteCall me if you ever want to chat.
John Lieu
Hey Kevin.
ReplyDeleteThat light you see over there is getting bigger and brighter. It is the end. It is the beginning. It is hope; healing; happy times.
Almost there now. Keep up the strength. Reach out; we are all here to help you get over the finish line.
Thanks for letting me help out this week. It means a lot to me.
Cheers,
P
Kevin, you are my hero!!! I'm a better person from reading your blogs. I'm praying for you everyday and thinking of you all the time. You are one of the stongest people I am fortunate to know. I believe this journey of yours is going to help a lot of people. Love Terry
ReplyDeletewhatever stongest means??????? must be something you picked up in HELK!!!! Terry
ReplyDeleteAll the best Kevin, it has been quite a journey and I know you will arrive joyously and safe to a great destination...always looking forward to reading your posts!
ReplyDeleteKev, you are definitely involved in an heroic struggle right now. And every heroic struggle involves a descent into hell, or deep trouble, or what have you. Jesus had his forty days in the desert, Indiana Jones has a struggle every fifteen minutes in every movie. It's in Homer, it's in Shakespeare, it's in The Bible. Without this descent there is no redemption. For the average person it might be a struggle with addiction, job loss, divorce, whatever. For you it's definitely chemo. It's a strong poison that is used to attack the cancer, and your faith and confidence are the antidotes that will see you through this. You are stronger than the cancer is. We all know this. God bless you. It's already fall up here in Seattle and the trees are turning. I read your words and find myself pausing to witness the profusion of colors we take for granted. They only come once a year. And I hug my wife more often.
ReplyDeleteDear Kevin, Thankyou for reminding us all to count our blessings and be kind to someone - so easy to say and do but so easy to forget in our hurly burly world whizzing around the place in every direction at 100 MPH - beaming positive thoughts your way from Team Phimister with love and best wishes, Russell
ReplyDeleteHi Bro,
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back and "Blogging!" We missed you! Your Outlook on Life during this trying time (in your Life ) really is a Blessing to me because as my Medical Problems continue to get worse (Can barely walk without assistance or a cane now)I find strength to go on as well as trying not to get so depressed! So thank you for all your "Wisdom" you share, it is greatly appreciated. I love you Bro,
-Mike
"HOPE sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible." Glad your out of that dark hole. Your at the top of our Prayer request every night.
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin, Thinking of you, I really appreciate you and how much you are shining a light on what is important. Love, KK
ReplyDeleteHey Kevin,you missed my Birthday last Thursday but I'll forgive you on this occasion.I shared the day with Arthur Guinness,250 years ago he signed a lease for his brewery at St James Gate in Dunlin.It was a day of huge celebration here,(you know we don't need much of an excuse!),I raised a glass to you (without the blackcurrant!!).Keep getting better.Dec
ReplyDeletemy dearest kevin, i am so sorry for being out of touch for so long...i had no idea and i am speechless..still i learn from you and the positive views you continue to throw out to all..please call me or give me your number, i would like to see you or talk to you if i may, i miss and love you lots. i will be praying and continue to be strong,see you soon, nanene
ReplyDelete